Mikko 3 month pics

Things I did not know before I became a mom

Mikko James came into this world on April 19, 2013 at 8:16pm via an emergency c-section. I labored for 11 hours before the cord got wrapped around his little neck causing his heart rate to drop to 80bpm for 8 whole minutes. Everything went so fast and all of a sudden he was here. Not the birth experience I had expected but the outcome was pretty great. When I was pregnant, I didn’t think about actually having the baby. I mean I knew it was going to be a change and that babies require work but I didn’t think about it in depth. If I read ahead in my pregnancy books or about babies AFTER birth, I would get anxious. So I didn’t. I just went with the flow and it worked for me. I was not a ‘baby person’ prior to getting pregnant. I wasn’t around babies much and when I was, there was no way would you see me holding them. Once they were 6 months and on I would hold them but for the most part I had very limited access to babies. This kid amazes me every single day and now that he is almost 16 weeks I feel like more of a competent parent rather than a bumbling, fumbling, exhausted, stressed out person who now has a new name of ‘mommy’. There are some things I have learned that I never knew about being a parent.

1.      The first 5 weeks are REALLY hard. You would think that because you carried this baby for 9 or more months that does not mean you are bonded and know what they need all the time. You are learning all about them and what they are like and what their needs are. You can Google the crap out of everything baby yet your baby is completely different. Not only are you learning but the baby is learning as well, it’s learning to be outside of you in the world. Therefore, they really don’t know what they want or what they need. It’s all trial and error, for both of you. They wake up every 2-4 hours (if not before sometimes) to eat and you are recovering from birth. All of that combined makes for one crazy stressful first month.

2.      Sleep means something completely different. For the first month or so I walked around like a zombie. They say to ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’. But when you don’t have a moment to yourself…showering sounds much more appealing. Or just relaxing….or cleaning, or laundry…something always seemed to trump sleep. Luckily for me, Mikko was a good sleeper. But that is not the shock I am referring to. The shock is that you can be so damn tired and exhausted yet you are always ‘on’ and you hear that baby cry and you are up faster than lightning. You never really hit that ‘deep sleep’. You know the kind that you are out and oblivious to the outside world. Yeah, say goodbye to that. It’s replaced with eyes closed but ear to your baby. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve woken up and laid and listened and 5 minutes later my baby cried. It’s like an innate mother thing or something. Even when daddy has the baby night duty, you are awake. Even when it’s your turn to sleep in a different room and daddy has baby somewhere else in the house and you hear that cry…you are awake. Just accept it. That is what other moms mean when they say ‘enjoy your sleep while you can’. It’s not because you won’t ever get it, you get it eventually, it’s just not deep meaningful sleep like it was before.

3.      Newborn babies sleep a lot! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve Googled “my baby sleeps too much”. They take a lot of naps and sometimes sleep through when they are supposed to eat. Sometimes in the beginning, you have to wake them up to eat..they just sleep and sleep and sleep some more.

4.      They don’t just fall asleep anywhere. I was pretty certain babies just napped wherever you put them. Yeah, no. Not Mikko anyway. He looked to me to take him somewhere where there were little distractions or stimulation. At home, that is his room.

5.      Just when you have them all figured out, they change it up again. You have to go with the flow. One day they may nap 2-3 hours at a time and the next day take only 30 minute naps. One day they may seem insatiable…they may eat 6 oz at a time. The next day, they only eat 3 oz at a time. They may laugh at a silly face or voice one day and not seem very interested the next. One day mommy is everything and one day daddy is the best thing ever.Every day is a crap shoot, just accept and take each day and moment as it comes.

6.      They change and grow every single day. If you aren’t paying attention you will miss it. All of a sudden they will be able to hold up their head, they will be able to start making ‘conversation’ with you, smiling when you go to pick them up, etc…it’s all pretty great.

7.      That first real smile changes your life. You will do anything to get one and getting a smile is like winning the jackpot. But better.

8.      Love songs take on a completely different meaning. Never have you felt such a love like this and until you have it; you don’t understand. Not saying you haven’t known love if you have never had a baby, that is just silly. It’s just a different KIND of love.

9.      No matter what you feel like you can always be doing more and could always spend more time with your baby and teach them MORE. But relaxing and taking it day by day helps.

10.   You go through soooo many diapers and formula. Like tons. You can hardly keep up at first but once you get your rhythm.