Completely Inspired...

As an assignment for a couple of classes in school, my little sister was assigned to volunteer at Feed My Starving Children in Coon Rapids. She got bonus points if she brought someone with her. She asked me and I gladly accepted. The organization is centered around sending meals of rice, soy beans, dehydrated carrots and potatoes and chicken seasoning (think ramen noodle seasoning) to poverty stricken countries throughout the world. We showed up on Tuesday night at 8pm (which was mighty late for a girl who works at 630am) and to our surprise there were 125 volunteers there. 125!! I was floored. They gave us an orientation which included a video and pictures of what they have done. There was a story of a little 8 year old boy name Omar who was 19 pounds....you could see his ribs, his face was sunken in and his arms looked like tiny sticks. His eyes were so hollow and sad. The next picture was of him just 2 weeks later after eating FMSC packets. He gained weight and lookd better...then the picture of after 6months and he had gained 30 lbs and he looked happy! It just broke my heart to see that. The whole process was divided into 5 jobs and it takes about an hour and a half. It's fast paced and there is alot of commotion. Lindsey and I were on the task of putting labels on the bags the food goes in. Christmas music was played and people were singing and laughing and working. Together. It was pretty frickn cool. I was so impressed with the work at this place. They must pack a ton of food and meals for children each day. We packed 21,600 meals...this will feed about 60 kids for 1 year! Unbelievable! I absolutely highly recommend this charity and volunteer  opportunity...it's pretty amazing.

10 things that annoy the piss out of me about Facebook

1. The Chronic Posters
        Okay, so I am happy you are alive. But the 10 posts each day mapping out how you cleaned the house, are watching tv, working out, etc...is unnecessary. Do you do anything without first announcing it?!

2. The "Woe is me" Posters
       These are the people who post things about how sucky their life is. Their posts usually contain "FML" (f*** my life) ALL the friggn time. This usually is a fish for some sort of compliment....i.e.

Sara Johnson says: "FML. Another guy breaks my heart. I will never get to get married. UGH"

Comments:

Betty Jo Baker: "Sara, OMG...you WILL find your person. You are smart beautiful and great, any guy would be lucky to have you"

Amanda Blow: "Keep your head up sweetie! You are so great! He's a loser!"

3. The "I am so awesome, me, me,me" Posters
      This is the person who constantly posts their blog and website and talks about how cool and creative they are.  This is not to be confused with those who do have blogs...good blogs, worthwhile blogs, or blogs that talk about issues or funny things. Not blogs that constantly talk about how great and creative they are. Self indulgent blogs. Borrring.

4. The Game Posters.
        This is the person who sends you 54,546 game requests. "Fertilze my farm" "buy my brownies" "feed my fish". Seriously?! If I haven't fed your fish, fertilized your farm or bought your dumb brownies, I am NOT interested. Stop sending me requests....

5. The Cryptic Posters
      These are the people who post cryptic messages meant for only one or two people to get. For example, "OMG....I can't believe he did that. You know who you are" or "You are an idiot". Seriously...we want to know what the F you are talking about.

6. The Drunken Posters.
      These are my favorites. These are the people who post while intoxicated. Not only do they most mostly mumbo jumbo with a bunch of exclamation points and misspelled workds but also post stupid drunken pictures of girls kissing girls or girls grabbing boobs. Pictures of them pretending to hump someone or taking shots and dancing on bars. a) real classy b) you're gross.

7. The "I will repost every single post that tells me to repost" Poster.
      Okay....I have a great dad, mom, sister, dog, husband, friend, cousin, aunt, uncle, brother, step dad, step mom, neice, nephews, etc...BUT I don't need to post every single post about it. If I don't post how my dad is my hero or my cat is amazing...it doesn't mean I don't think it.


8. The song Poster.
      This person could also be lumped into the Drunk Poster one. This is the person who posts 45 songs in a row. Each with "I love this song" or "this goes out to someone special, I'm pretty sure she knows who she is" or "My favorite song EVER" Most of the time they are songs that have been overplayed on the radio and/or songs I never want to hear ever again.

9. The Pessimistic Poster.
      This is the person who is like..."well....I had a job interview, but I probably won't get it anyways" "I had a date but he probably won't call" "I won the lottery but now I don't have anywhere to store all the stuff I buy" "I got a new car but now I have a friggn car payment I can't afford." Not saying that life is all sunshine and rainbows but honestly, a little positive thinking can go a long way.

10. Chronic "Liker"
        This person Likes every single little thing you post. Good or bad. How can you like that fact that my dog just died? Or like the fact that I just got a flat tire. REALLY?! You do know what "like" means right?!

Zero tolerance for A-holes...

In the last month I have hit my limit with people. People who are downright rude to me or others. I don't get them. I don't get what they get out of treating people like that. In the past, I have allowed myself to be the doormat for that kind of behavior. Inside, I was pissy about it but wouldn't say anything, mostly out of fear of how they would further react to my stepping up to them. I would always just accept it. I don't know what happened inside of me but a switch has been hit. It started two weeks ago, when a coworker was terrible to me AGAIN. He for some reason thinks it's appropriate to treat me like I am a naughty 7 year old child. Complete with condescending rhetorical questions. I am in a support type position so my job is to help people. He makes it impossible to do so. He will interrupt me rudely and not listen to my expertise on our programs. One time about 5 months back,  I was waiting for a meeting with a lead and she was in the next room with said employee. He said to her: "I am not intimidated by your tears. My daughter cries to get her way so I am immune" Mind you this man is 60+ years old and he was talking to HIS lead. Can you imagine saying to that to a person of authority?? That just gives you a run down of how this guy works. Let's go back to two weeks ago, he called and was outright, absolutely rude to me. I literally was filled to the brim with his behavior and finally lashed back. I answered in the exact same manner he used with me. He stuttered and got off the phone. He then emailed my manager about how badly he felt that he "accidentally ruffled my feathers" and also talked to the above lead about how "terrible he felt about it". To this day I have not received an apology. :) However, I feel empowered that I stood up to him. I am not asking him to change but he now knows that he can be an asshole, but he is going to get it back. I had a recent run in this weekend with someone I've known for over 10 years. I have sat back and seen this person lash out. This weekend, I had had enough and gave it RIGHT back to him.
My point is: where do these people get off treating people like they do? Is it because we sit back and allow it to happen? I truly think it is. We enable them to be inappropriate. I'm not saying I will not allow people to be angry or pissy. Everyone has their moments (me included!) and it's an emotion everyone has. However, when it becomes a personality trait, that is when I will have an issue. If you can make a conscious decision to be an asshole then you can expect to get it back. I've made a decision...you treat me or my family like crap, you aren't going to get niceness back. (this is outside of my support role in my job and our customers). I'm setting major boundaries. I am so DONE. The older I get the more I want to surround myself with those that make me happy. Those that are mature enough to interact positively. For the ones that aren't, it doesn't mean that I don't  love them or not like them...I just simply don't want them around me. I can love them from afar and wish the best for them but I choose NOT to have them in daily life. Case and point. The negativity can be suffocating and life is too short for that. As bitchy as that may seem, it's the truth. I don't have the tolerance to bear the assholes or the self serving of some any longer. Your world is what you make of it...by allowing people like that to continuously steal your time or energy, you are taking away from the people who want to be positive and happy and want the best for you. :)

 I am thankful my husband is NOT like the above people. He just gets to hear it all :)

Traffic rant...

I HATE traffic. Not that anyone loves it, persay, but I get irrationally mad when on the freeway we are at a dead stop. I don't get it?? If everyone goes the speed limit and follows behind one another what is the hold up?

Each day, I envision some dumbass driver in the passing lane tootling along going 10 mph below the speed limit more than 3 car lengths away from the car in front of them. And another yahoo in the right hand lane doing the exact same thing. That has GOT to be what it is. Because WTF? I just don't understand how traffic can be that backed up ESPECIALLY when there are 3 lanes. I know that there are a lot of morning and afternoon commuters all over the metro. I can definitely see traveling at speeds of about 25-30 mph...but dead stops?!!?!?!? Everyday, I swear my jaw drops and my horn blares (more times than I'd like to admit) due to alot of people in Minnesota SUCKY ability at driving. I've found there are 4 kinds of drivers that piss me off most. They are as follows:

1) The constant braker. This is the person in front of you that brakes every 20-25 seconds. It's not that they are necessarily tailgating the person in front of them which is causing them to brake; it's because they are so terrified of hitting the car in front of them which is 4 car lengths ahead of them anyway that they hit the brakes just to make sure or when they see brake lights 1 mile up the road. They don't just tap the brakes but full on hard brake hitting that causes them and those in the car with them to go forward a little bit. If you are brake happy like this....go to the slow lane. Be brake happy there and let people go around you.

2) The slow driver in the passing lane. Yes, we the people understand that the speed limit is 60 mph. BUT guess what if you go 65 mph it's still safe under most circumstances from getting pulled over. Furthermore, because you want to drive the exact speed limit doesn't mean that people want to follow your law abiding citizen ways. Some people don't mind speeding a little now and again. Get over. Now. So the rest of us can go around you. A-hole.

3) The speed changer. So here is the scenerio: you are going down the freeway going the speed limit (okay a few mph over) in either the left or right hand lane and come upon a person going slower. So you turn your signal on, check your blind spot (you're welcome Mr. Schultz) and go into (insert lane here) to pass them. That person speeds up and passes you. You say "okay, fine" and get back behind them. They tootle along and all of a sudden go slow again. So you follow all of the safe road rules and attempt to pass him/her/asshole and they speed up again. At this point, I usually go unnaturally fast and pull in front of them pissing them off. It's sort of satisfying.

4) The tailgater. There are two versions of this person. One is this is the person who gets thisclose to your bumper in the right hand lane but doesn't pass you. They speed right up to you and continue to ride your butt, you tap your brakes a little, it doesn't phase them. You tap a little more, still nothing. This is when I slam on my brakes causing them to get pissed and eventually pass me. This too is gratifying. The second version is you are going in the right hand lane and need to pass someone or a few slow cars...you do all of the safe stuff (blinker, b.s., etc..) are in the middle of passing one of the cars and this person gets right on your butt..their stupid impatient headlights in your mirror saying "hurry up, I want to go at ungodly speeds". You look to your right and see that you can't get over there are too many cars so you continue to pass while this asshole rides your butt the entire way. THEN you finally get over and they zoom super fast ahead of you and then have to slam on their brakes because someone else is not going 500 mph on the freeway and get stuck behind them riding their ass.

I know there are more obnoxious driving situations that frustrate me but these are just a few....stupid traffic.

Picnick

If you click on the picture it enlarges (best quality)

If you haven't heard of this webstie (picnick.com), go to it, but make sure you have a gazillion of your favorite pictures and a couple hours of time. I had a blast...here are some of my edited photos....

Comfortable weight gain?

I always thought that people who gained weight after saying "I do" was just the comfortable factor. The idea that this person legally has to love you for the rest of your life regardless of gaining weight, losing a tooth, stopping shaving ,etc sort of comfortableness couples get to...I always thought that was the reason. I now know that is NOT the truth. I think the reason behind it has to do with having (in my case) almost an entire year of watching every single calorie and pound while being completely stressed out about planning the wedding and getting into a wedding dress that is "thisbig" and being in front of everyone you know and love and some you don't know that well (husband side of things). I managed to lose 10 lbs and withstand that weightloss through the wedding. I told my friends that the first thing I was going to do after our wedding day was eat a giant CHEESEBURGER. I usually don't order cheeseburgers or have them that often but because I couldn't have one I wanted one sooooo badly. Well...let's just say I haven't stopped at the cheeseburger.

I have eaten without guilt, shame or worry. I have made the calorie ridden pastas, meatloaves, pizza, burgers, etc. Now don't get me wrong, I haven't gone overboard by eating crappy for every meal. I have just not, unlike the last year, counted the calories or worried. I also have loved having the freedom to cook anything. For as long as I can remember, I have tried to make healthy versions of whatever I made. I took a break from it. I won't lie, it's been a nice change. BUT the reality set in this morning: My pants were TOO FRIGGN TIGHT. My thighs were chanting "neener neener we are fat!" And it's a noticeable weight gain there....I mean they jiggle and even sometimes touch. GROSS!! My arms are waving even though I am not. I feel jiggly ALL over. I haven't weighed myself at all and regardless of what the scale says, I KNOW I gained. At least that is what my pants say...

Today is day one of operation:  stop gaining weight. I will start to work out more at the gym and eating 2 super healthy meals a day (bfast and lunch). I won't snack on chips, Triscuits or other super fatty snacks. I won't sneak candy at work all day long. I will just make better choices. I know I feel better when I do that. AND if I do end up eating gross for a meal at least I am working it off. :)

Fall Bliss...

Oh how I love Fall. The feeling of the slowing of time. Football. Hot apple cider. Baking. Changing leaves. Cooler weather. Snuggling in sweaters. Turning on the fire place.  Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Cooking comfort foods. Warm red wine. Candles. Pumpkins. Apple orchards. Cute jackets. Crunching leaves. Halloween.

                                                    LOVE!

Bridal showers 2 and 3 this weekend....yikes!!

I am soooo trying to be okay with this whole bridal shower thing. I've never been okay with the whole gift getting thing. I know this is tradition...I know that I love buying brides gifts for their showers, but it still makes me feel guilty that someone spent this money on me/us. I keep trying to tell myself that people like to help you celebrate.... I would hope that if someone didn't want to buy me something or felt obligated that they wouldn't come, right?!

 At first, I didn't register for much because I felt like I was asking people to buy this stuff for me. Stupid I know because how else would people who want to buy gifts know what we need or want. But still it just made me feel weird. HOWEVER, I absolutely know that there are plenty more weddings in my future to which gifts I will bestow upon the brides so that thought of paying it forward helps!

On the bright side of it all, I get to spend time with some truly great people I am blessed to have in my life. I get to see some people who have helped shape me and have been rocks in my life. Some that I don't get to see near as often as I would like but still full of love and awe for them.

Today marks 45 days until the wedding

I can't believe in 45 days I will be Mrs. Paakkonen. I can't even begin to tell you how excited we are. We are excited to begin a new chapter in our life and relationship. People say that it's just a piece of paper, a ring, this or that and nothing changes. I disagree. This is a lifetime commitment we are making to one another. A promise that we will always hold each other close. We will always stand beside one another on the same team. A united front...us against the world. It's the beginning of the solidifying of our bond. THAT is what this day means to us. AND I could not have picked a better man as my partner. :) I absolutely adore him and am looking forward to our future together. Our future life, family, adventure's, traditions, trips, relationship, growing old together, etc...all of it. I. can't. wait.

Wedding Dress....

I am finally over the phobia of NOT fitting into my dress.

The week before my first fitting I was FREAKING out. It dawned on me a week before the dress fitting was to happen that I really hadn't dieted. I guess I have always stayed around the same weight but realized that we have definately celebrated our engagement and life together. Ahem-beer and fried foods. :) I got into my dress on my own and tried to zip it as far as I could but to no avail. You can only do so much on your own. I called my maid of honor and she came over to zip me up. She zipped me up and it fit....tightly! I had 6 days to lose some weight. I ate watermelon, lettuce, cuccumbers, tomatoes, etc....I am utterly impressed with the fact that I was able to drop 5lbs of water weight which lead me to get zipped perfectly into my wedding dress at my first fitting. I fell in love with the dress all over again. I forgot how lovely it was. It fits like a glove...almost like it was made just for me. However, I have to keep the fattening foods (and beer!) in check and continue to work out. BUT now that it is nearing the end.... (or beginning?) I don't really have a choice and I think I can deal...

New workout routine Day #1

My intentions were good yesterday. I had a plan. I would get up at 5:15am when Jamie is about to leave for work, go downstairs to begin my new work out routine of either Turbo Jam, Tae Bo and/or pilates for dummies-to help get toned for the wedding. Jamie always makes sure that I get up when I say I want to because for me if it's before 6am I don't wanna get out of bed. He's really good at harping me until I get all pissy but get up anyway.

My arms are in dire need of some toning as well as ye ol' chubby thighs. I know I love working out and I feel amazing once I get going. It's just the get going that is the hardest thing.....it goes like this:

3:00 a.m. This morning Jamie's work calls....
4:15am I am still up tossing and turning in bed....
5:15am I am so tired and tell Jamie I am not working out until I get home and tell him it's his work's fault.
7:00am leave for work
7:30am I eat a piece of string cheese on my way to work,
8:15am Have my 100 calorie english muffin with reduced fat peanut butter,
10:05am I grab a handful of goldfish crackers from our work junk drawer
11:05 a.m. I make my frozen Lean Cuisine pizza....then eat a little kit kat. Then my 60 calorie pudding....then....

a little snickers, twix and two mini heaths. Damn me. Double damn me. Now I feel so much remorse. I WILL go home and work out....I WILL.

With all of my guilt and jiggling parts I will start my work out today.

Hawaii NOW....thanks.

Can you believe these are real?? Kaui...I can't wait to be with you! After the winter we've had here in Minnesota, these pics are making me drool....... is it Spring yet?! I'd settle for that right about now....



I definitely think that a honeymoon is necessary after a wedding. Not only is it sweet to spend time away being husband and wife for the first time, but also to unwind after being so high strung planning the big day. Months and months of planning,thinking, and talking about the wedding. All of the money, stress, time, energy, blah, blah, blah.  I didn't realize how much it would consume daily life...I don't care who you are--the planning process is stressful. There is so much to think about, do, book, pay for, plan, etc. I'm thankful for all of the help I've been getting....otherwise I would lose it. :)

Moral of my rant? Go on a honeymoon.

Present day Invisalign Pic

AMAZING!

Ode to Invisalign

Invisalign: the best decision I ever made.

I've had them for about 9 months and can't beleive the results. By time the wedding comes around, I will have one more month left of treatment. Haleluiah.

Are they painful? Sometimes. Some trays are worse than others.
Do I get headaches? Yes, when I change my trays.
Are they hard to get used to? At first.
Are they annoying? Sometimes.
Is it worth it? Absolutely....

Before

Deadly Sleepy cat

The most amazing man....

I absolutely love this man. He is wholeheartedly my best friend. He understands me more than anyone ever could. He is so caring, loving and teaches me a little bit each day on how to be a better person. I cherish every second we spend together. He is my soul mate.....which is why I am marrying him.

Wedding workout starts Monday every Sunday

I know I want to tone up for the wedding/honeymoon. I joined the gym at work to be able to fit in some workouts. As an added bonus, if I go 12 times in a month (3 times a week) we get a $20 kickback.  At the start of every week, I plan on starting this routine. BUT something comes up and I can't stay at work or I make some sort of excuse: I'm too tired, I have homework, I have to do this at home right away, etc...The weeks go by and I am ridden with guilt because I haven't started this. I know wedding/honeymoon will come up super fast and I will be PISSSED that I didn't do it. The following thoughts run through my head that allow me to justify not working out:

a) Jamie is marrying me just the way I am as my thighs jiggle as I walk.

b) I am not that bad as my thighs jiggle as I walk

c) My dress looks good as is. But my thighs still jiggle as I walk.

How I feel....

These are the thoughts I need to be thinking:

a) you are going to Hawaii where you will be in a swimsuit ALOT and your thighs jiggle when you walk.
b) Your thighs jiggle as you walk.
c) Your thights jiggle as you walk.

I need some major motivation.....

Say what to the dress?

Okay, I have heard that one of the most important things about a wedding is the dress. I've heard stories of chicks crying when they first put one on and cry when they found "the one". I think there may be something wrong with me. I just don't have that emotional attachment to an article of clothing. The dresses are beautiful, I will give you that. But I am not all about feeling like a "princess". I don't want a tiara or a big poof ball of a dress and run around saying "me, me, me". I don't know if I am just realistic? Or void of that kind emotion?

Round 1 of dress trying on went like this:

I went to the store with Dayna, one of my bridesmaids, and put on a big dress that was pretty but heavy and looked awful on me. There were no tears or any "oh my God"s or twirling. It was more like "nope can't sit in it" or I would do a little jig in it to see if I was comfortable. The one I did like was flattering. But still no sappy emotions.

Round 2 of dress trying on went like this:

I brought my maid of honor, Jen, and two bridesmaids, Dayna and Amanda. I tried on a LOT of dresses. Still there was no crying or emotional outbursts. There was lots of laughing and dancing, but no tears. I found a dress that looked great, felt great, was simple, and had a great price. I was sold. But still others said you should have some emotion about it. I decided to give it one last shot.

Round 3 of dress trying on went like this:

It didn't happen. I decided on the cheap and simple one. I gave up on that emotion I was supposed to have.

Is this an ideal that is grounded into woman's heads as girls? Or is it the million and one bridal reality shows that are on tv? Magazines? Movies? Whatever it was, I missed that boat. But I can say that I am happy with my decision even if I didn't cry. Whatever that makes me....   :)

My barbies never got married.

I have never been one of those girls who dreamt about her wedding. My sister and I used to play barbies every single day when we were little. (okay up until I was 14) And never once did our Barbies ever get married. They dated other boy barbies but never even thought about getting married. That has lasted until present day me. I never thought about a dress, decorations, location, groom, etc. This is all very, very new. Up until I met Jamie,I was convinced I didn't want to get married. I still wasn't completely convinced up until about 2 years ago. Even then I didn't think about the wedding itself. So now, planning this day has been quite an experience.

At first, I went into it thinking this planning stuff will be a piece of cake. I won't be one of those brides that gets all panicky and freak out. At first it was fine, we found most of our vendors at a great price. Then money started getting forked out for deposits, contracts were getting sent in, everyone started telling me what you should have at your wedding or when you should get this or that etc...blah blah. I kind of had a little meltdown about it. Who the hell knows how to plan a wedding? Certainly not me! This is what I envision: I get to tell Jamie how much I love him and that I'll be with him forever in front of everyone I love in a pretty dress, get a pretty ring to go with my already pretty ring, eat, dance and be merry and watch everyone I love eat, dance and be merry. I don't envision what centerpieces I will have or what the cake will look like, or what kind of flowers I will have. Um yeah....I know that stuff is somewhat important but I plan on passing that duty right along to someone who knows more about it all. Dayna's mom. Brenda knows a ton about all of this wedding stuff because she had to go through it all with Dayna two summers ago. Have at it Bren. It's all yours :) I'll just show up in the pretty dress to say I do.